Why Steve Jobs Resigned

Steve Jobs resigned. We know that. But everyone is wondering why. Well, I have a theory. It is somewhat speculative, but I can assure you my theory is supported by plenty of evidence. Basically, Steve Jobs was sick of holding up crappy, over-priced products while wearing jeans and an out of style shirt. It was the combination of all three factors that convinced him to leave. He would have stayed on if they just made him hold up crappy products and look excited.

But Apple wanted more. They wanted him to wear jeans and an out of style shirt while he held up the crappy, over-priced products. Personally, I see nothing wrong with Steve's decision. In fact, I would have done the same thing. To be honest, I don't think I could have even mustered the feeble facial expressions that he managed while holding up the crappy, over-priced products.

On second thought, if Apple made me hold all that shit up while wearing out of style shirts and jeans, I would have hired large animals to sodomize every employee of the company.

The Guard

Great, NATO has created yet another unstable Mideastern country. If I were evil, I'd clap like I was watching the PGA tour.

I think we all know what everyone is really worried about though. The Amazonian Guard, one of the world's only all female body guard units. Who would want to dissolve something so amazing?

RON PAUL

He won the Young Republicans Straw Poll in New Hampshire. Let's hope he can follow that victory with more victories until he ends up in the White House. If only the media would give him the coverage he deserves.... Why do they cover the Queen of Rage so much?


In other news, S&P is being investigated on past mortgage ratings. Maybe something earth shattering will be discovered, and they'll lose all their credibility.

And maybe I'm not 15 pounds overweight. Too bad I am. :(

Rioting in London

Apparently there has been some rioting in London after the police shot a 29-year-old man. Molotov cocktails were deployed in response. I wish I knew the circumstances surrounding the individual's death, but I don't.

Also, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU S&P. Isn't it amazing that a privately owned corporation can destroy a superpower's economy?